Thank You Notes: Cinco de Mayo, Trump’s Doctor and Trump’s Lawyer

Thank You Notes: Cinco de Mayo, Trump’s Doctor and Trump’s Lawyer

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Guys, I thought maybe right now I could write out my
weekly Thank You Notes. Is that okay?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] James, can I get some Thank You
Note writing music, please? ♪♪♪♪ Mr. Cool.
-Wow. -Mr. Cool.
-Mr. Cool. He don’t care. -Yes, the hidden Avenger.
Mr. Cool. -He’s the Avenger
you didn’t see in the movie. -Mr. Cool, yep, mm-hmm. -Like Mr. Freeze. -The Silver —
the Silver Smurfer, man. -The Silver Smurfer? [ Laughter ] ♪♪♪♪ -Thank you, Cinco de Mayo
and the Kentucky Derby, for both falling on Saturday and making Sunday
the perfect time to throw up into a giant hat. [ Applause ] ♪♪♪♪ Thank you, mint juleps, for toeing the line between
mixed drink and side salad. Delicious. Good for you. -Good for you. Healthy.
100% health. ♪♪♪♪ -Thank you, margaritas, for
coming in two varieties — light, fruity fun
or booze monsoon. [ Laughter ] [ Slurring ]
I — I can’t believe it. -[ Slurring ] I’m looking
for that lost shaker of salt. ♪♪♪♪ -Thank you, Trump’s doctor
and Trump’s lawyer, for looking like
the before and after of a “Queer Eye” makeover. [ Laughter ] -Come on! -Not bad.
-Come on! Give it up! [ Cheers and applause ] It’s a well-structured joke. ♪♪♪♪ -Thank you, lemon Pledge,
for sounding like an oath you have to take
to become a lemon. [ Laughter ] -“I, state your name.” -“I, Lemony Jones…” [ Laughter ] ♪♪♪♪ -Thank you, “Frozen” and
“SpongeBob SquarePants” both being nominated
for Best Musical Tonys, for making this year’s awards feel like a kids’
birthday party. And the nominees are… “PAW Patrol,”
“Dora the Explorer.” And Steve from “Blue’s Clues.” -Oh, my God!
-[ Imitating Blue ] Whoo-hoo! ♪♪♪♪ -Wow.
That was a really good — Somebody just did
a “Blue’s Clues”… -Yeah. Did, like, a “hooty-hoo.” -No, it’s, like, a weird thing.
I heard it. Can you do it again?
-WHOO-HOO-HOO! -Ugh. That’s it.
I just got a reaction from it. -Really?
-Yeah, because when you have kids, you hear that
so many times that — I’m actually ready to kill
right now. -Really?
-Oh, yeah. -From “Blue’s Clues?”
-Oh, yeah. I’m full-on porcupine right now. When I hear that noise — I hear that noise,
I get full-on porcupine. [ Imitating Blue ] -You’re thinking of Joe
from “Blue’s Clues.” -Audience member: Yeah! [ Laughter ] ♪♪♪♪ -Thank you, men who wear
flip-flops and socks, for proudly living your life
as left swipes. There you guys have it.
Those are my Thank You Notes.

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