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ANNOUNCER:Ladies and gentlemen, please welcomethe second President of the Confederate States of America.(applause and cheering) -(applause and cheering swell) -(camera shutter clicking) Oh, yeah. Wow. -Wow. -Mr. President? Thank you. Thank you. -Mr. President? -Mr. President? I’m gonna get mean and divisive in a few minutes, but first, I want to take a moment to

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ALL WEEK, I’VE BEEN BRINGING YOU THE LATEST FROM THE TRIAL OF CONSPIRACY RADIO HOST AND FURIOUS HARDBOILED EGG, ALEX JONES. ( LAUGHTER ) YOU GUYS KNOW WHO HE IS? YOU KNOW WHO ALEX JONES, IS “INFO WARS.” VERY POPULAR. DONALD TRUMP IS A BIG FAN. JONES IS IN A LEGAL BATTLE WITH HIS EX-WIFE,

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Mi gusta cinco! Ah! Four. Ugh! Right up main street! ugh! Three, Two, STUPID!… Worth it! Deadpool. Why are you counting bullets? Why don’t you just pick up one of our many weapons? Well that’s simple! Because this makes me… look like one Bad… Mother… LANGUAGE! What! I took care of it. And Language! Get

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It is important to note that while the media focuses on Trump’s daily tweets and scandals, outbursts and distractions, the government he installed is hard at work making policy that affects our lives. And one of those installations, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, has been quietly overseeing a massive rollback of civil rights regulations in

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IN THE SPIRIT OF THOSE WHO SHARED THEIR MAIZE WITH THE PILGRIMS ON THE FIRST THANKSGIVING, TODAY, TRUMP SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER TO COMBAT VIOLENCE AGAINST NATIVE AMERICANS. AND HE COMPLIMENTED ONE OF THE ATTENDEES ON THEIR NAME.>>WE HAVE A MAN WHOSE NAME I WANT TO USE. I MAYBE HAVE TO CHANGE MY NAME BECAUSE

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WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) YEAH. HEY, EVERYBODY, LET’S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE BECAUSE, RIGHT NOW, PIPE BOMBS ARE ENDING UP IN MORE MAILBOXES THAN J. CREW CATALOGUES.>>Jon: WOW, THAT’S RIGHT.>>Stephen: IN FACT, THIS MORNING, INVESTIGATORS FOUND TWO SUSPICIOUS PACKAGES INTENDED FOR JOE

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BUT THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME I MED YOU TWO, I YOU HAVE A LITTLE HISTORY TOGETHER. YOU PLAYED BAGS KET BALL IN THE NBA ALL-STAR GAMES. CAN DARKS IT WAS CANADA VERSUS URGES– U.S.A., WHO WON THAT IMGA.>>I ASSUME THE U.S.A.>>I DON’T REMEMBER.>>I KNOW, CANADA WON, I DUST WANTED TO LIE.>>WHO WAS ON YOUR

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– A lot of people say, oh let the worst case scenario thing happen to you, you’ll learn it’s not that bad, not true, it was really bad and I contemplated quitting comedy. (upbeat music) I was asked to be a part of a reality show, stand-up comedy competition, that’s like Last Comic Standing but

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Ever wonder what the reel reason is behind your favorite classic stars of the silver and small screens? Reel Stars Weekly’s got you covered!! Lori Loughlin, classic Hollywood icon, sexy star of TV’s Full House, and ruthless leader of the notorious organized crime syndicate, the Winter Hill Gang, was born on July 28, 1964, as

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>>HAVE A GOOD DAY. OH, HERE WE GO. OH, LOOKT AT THIS!>>OH! I LOVE THE FEATHERS! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ OOH YEAH ♪ EACH MORNING I GET UP I DIE A LITTLE ♪ CAN BARELY STAND ON MY FEET TAKE A LOOK ♪ IN THE MIRROR AND CRY ♪ LORD, WHAT YOU’RE DOING

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