Statute of Limitation on an Apology | Lohman Logic | Episode #1

Statute of Limitation on an Apology | Lohman Logic | Episode #1

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What is the statute of limitations on an apology? You ever think about that? When is it too late to say, “I’m sorry”? Well, I’ve got a story to tell you that I think just might blow your mind a little bit. One time, when I was 13 years old, I went to a summer camp. It was a Christian camp. There was four of us that drove up in this one car to go to this camp up in the mountains and it was A lot of fun. I was 13. I was one of the big guys. And so at 13 that was the oldest age You could be at this particular camp and one of the kids in our camp was 10 years old. Well, when we got to our cabins we got our assignments I went in there and there was another 13 year old in there, and he and I became friends, like, right away. But this 10 year old was also in our cabin, and we started picking on him. Now, today, looking back, we have a bad name for that. That’s called “bullyism” and you know what? I’m sorry to say I was guilty of that. I was being a bully and I wish that I had not done that But I did and I’m going to confess to you that I was one of those kids that did that. I think most kids did in those days, but… …anyway, let’s just move on forward, okay? So, one day, I was sitting in my desk here at work, 50 years later! Five, Oh. Five, Oh! 50 years later, sitting at my desk And I had on Facebook, because we all do, don’t we? And I get this Messenger pop-up and says, “I have some not so fond memories of you,” and I looked at the name And it was that 10 year old kid, who by the way, was no longer a 10 year old kid. But after 50 years of not having seen me, or talked to me, he says, “I have some not so fond memories of you.” I thought, “Oh, my gosh…” Right away, without hesitation, I got on my keyboard. I said, “I know who you are. I know exactly what you’re talking about… …and what I did to you was wrong, and I know it hurt you, and I’m very sorry. Can you forgive me for that?” This is 50 years later. I finally got the chance to apologize to this person that I truly hadn’t really thought too much about over 50 years. Well, it took about one or two minutes and finally he writes back, he says, “Oh, no problem, it was a long time ago. Didn’t bother me. I thought to myself… “Yeah, right! 50 years since you’ve seen me or heard of me… …and you tell me… the first thing you say to me is, ‘I have some not so fond memories of you!'” I started thinking about that. How much had this affected his life? How much sadness might I have caused him? Because you know these things do stay inside of people. Now you may not have ever been bullied, And you probably don’t know what this is, but most people have been bullied and they can think back to their childhood when something like that happened. And there is something in there. And when that happens and you find out whether it’s… whether you knew it or not… But when you find out that it’s you, the statute of limitations on an apology never runs out. So, here it was, 50 years later, and I apologized to him and I know that it gave him some freedom, some liberation. But you know what? It gave me liberation, too. Even if he had not accepted my apology, I knew that I had found out that I had done something wrong to hurt another human being and I took the chance to ask him for forgiveness. I confessed that I knew I hurt him. I knew that I had done wrong and I admitted it to him. I did something wrong. I told him that I was sorry because that I was and I asked him to forgive me. I knew that I’d hurt him, I told him that, too. I recognized that. So if you’re going to apologize to somebody, all four of those things have to be there. First off, you have to… Admit that you did something wrong. Second, you have to say, “I know that I hurt you,” and, third, you have to say, “I’m sorry,” and fourth, you have to ask for forgiveness. And even if they don’t forgive you, that’s going to give you that liberty because That way you showed that you gave of your heart to show that you did something wrong there and you did ask for forgiveness. So that’s going to liberate you. And, hopefully, it will liberate the other person. then you’ll be able to move past it together. So we could talk a little bit more about that in some future videos because I think that’s so important with all the bullyism that’s going on in today’s campuses, and the workplace, and just… everywhere we go we see people being bullied. And so, I think that there’s a lot more to talk about here. But the first thing to learn is to recognize it when you did it, And learn how to apologize, and remember, that after fifty years, he got some liberation. This is Dr. Dave.

2 thoughts on “Statute of Limitation on an Apology | Lohman Logic | Episode #1

  • Gar Post author

    I think we all get bullied and hence we learn to bully. Youโ€™re right people remember hurt, humanity is rife with bullish behavior, it pervades every aspect of our society.
    I also know Iโ€™ve been apologized to without sincerity. I think an apology which does not attempt restitution is
    There is little you can do to right the mean act of a 13 year old, a sincere verbal apology is about it, good on you for doing so, Heโ€™s right as adults we understand what 13 year olds are and I donโ€™t think he was probably over affected, he probably forgot about it until your Facebook connection. However your recognition and repentance probably made him feel better about human kind.

  • Shirley Ito Post author

    Great life lesson. Humbling yourself, asking for forgiveness is big!

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